"Let it go and move on"! Joel Osteen

"Sometimes "religion" tries to beat people down and make them feel bad about themselves. 'You've done this and you failed here, and you didn't treat this person right, and you didn't raise your kids as well as you should have.' Many people wallow in that condemnation and they go around with low self-esteem and a sense of unworthiness. Their attitude is God could never bless me. I've made too many mistakes. I blew it."

"No, God knew you weren't going to be perfect. Why don't you lighten up and give yourself a break? Quit beating yourself up over everything you've done wrong. After all, you can't change the past. If you've made mistakes, just say, "God, I'm sorry; I repent. Help me to do better next time." Then let it go and move on. If you hold on to it, you open the door to guilt and condemnation. Before long, you'll be going around with a "poor old me" mentality."

"I don't deserve anything. I'm just a weak worm of the dust," I hear people say. No, you're not a weak worm of the dust; you're a child of the Most High God. Hold your head up high, put your shoulders back, and start acting like a child of Almighty God."

Joel Osteen/Become A Better You

Don't let others discourage you!

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not perceive the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,' when you yourself do not see the plank that is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck that is in your brother's eye." Luke 6:41-42

Jesus spoke often in His ministry about the hypocrisy of people judging one another. I think sometimes as a person finds herself growing in the Lord, she can easily slip into an attitude of ..."I don't do that"... or "Oh no, what you're doing is not godly.."

I'm sure most brothers and sisters in Christ have good intentions, afterall the Bible does instruct us to teach and even mentor one another in Christ.

But there is also an appropriate time and place for teaching and instructing.

Only God Himself truly knows what another person is going through. Only He can see clearly into your heart, your life, and your circumstance.

The greatest call God places on our lives, is to love one another. To love God first...and love your neighbor as yourself.

Perhaps you have the gift to teach, and are eager to put that gift to use for the Lord. But remember, that's an awesome responsibility, and its important to be discerning of when to teach, and when to just be a friend. Just listen. Just pray for the person.

In Bible study Wednesday night, our teacher brought up a very important point when he said...."Self righteousness kills compassion...." He hit the nail on the head.

Sometimes, your brother or sister might be going through unbelievable trials or challenges, and in fact may be at a point in their life where they just need someone to offer compassion, understanding, and encouragement.

Be careful whose advice you take, who you listen to. I've learned that many times, people have good intentions, but in their eagerness to "instruct me in the Lord", they end up more concerned about how "holy" my life is or is not, what I'm doing that's "right or wrong", and they just miss the opportunity that God sent them alongside me at a time in my life where I was absolutely devastated, just hanging on to God in faith with everything I had in me, and needing to simply be reminded that God loves me, God sees all my struggles, God knows my pain, and He is going to get me through this.

So to my fellow parents who go through indescribable challenges with your special needs child(ren), just remember that there are definitely people in this life who clearly have no clue about your personal battles. Don't let their failure to comprehend the depth of your struggles discourage you about where you are in your walk with Christ.

God knows what you need in your life, and speaking from personal experience the best advice and encouragement I get is from His Word, and my time alone with Him. Encourage yourself by reading an inspiring book...I highly recommend Joel Osteen's 'Become a Better You'. Every page is full of hope and encouragement and inspires me to let God love me and move in me and bring to life the gift He's placed inside of me.

Yes, I understand that we each need to "mature" in the Lord, that there are things in my life that are "carnal", things I may do that others may find worldly and that God's Word is the final authority in my life, and all my decisions need to be based on His instruction.

I also know that God in His mercy and love for me knows exactly where I'm at, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. He can and is shepherding me one day at a time, meeting me where I am, putting all the broken pieces back together.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart...and love your neighbor as yourself.

Just don't forget to love yourself.

esther

I have grown so much, through the challenges

Dealing with the special needs that many autistic children face on a daily basis, has without a doubt been the biggest challenge of my life.

I suppose because I was unable to have children, yet found myself blessed at the age 43 with my first and only child, I was just as insecure and unsure about my mothering abilities as all new mothers are....possibly even more-so.

To realize that my first(and only) child would be diagnosed with autism, the self-doubt and fear really started to kick in.

My son will turn 8 years old in March.

I learned that he was autistic afew days before his 2nd before.

We have lived with autism for 6 years now... possibly almost 8 years if you discount the vaccination- causes- autism theory...

To be honest, there have been many ups and downs...days, weeks, even months of utter confusion, chaos and turmoil.

There have been challenges and struggles and up-hill battles...fears and worries and heartaches...and unbelievable mountains to climb..

All that and more...so much more.

But the good far outweighs the bad.

Every victory, however seemingly irrelevant to outsiders is like winning a major battle.

Every smile, every word my son speaks, every new food he tries, whatever new challenge he faces and we face together with him, brings the most unbelievable, indescribable joy that floods my heart with such hope and love and gratitude!

And during those times, those many times when I felt like nobody understood, when I was sure that nobody could really comfort or encourage or help the situation, it was then when I learned to turn to God.

And after years of turning to God as a "last resort" (when all else fails, pray), I've learned to go to God as my first consult...my first resort...my first and final word for any direction I take in my life.

Did God always change my circumstances? Not very often, to be honest.

Did God always change my child's behavior? Not at all, sometimes.

He did change me.

I've learned that God is not a "magician". Oh He CAN and WILL work miracles, when it is His will, not mine.

Sometimes the miracles are a little less obvious. Sometimes, if we're not careful, we fail to even see what He is doing in, through, and around us.

But sometimes? If we ask Him, He gives us a glimpse...that tiny glimpse of hope that coupled with faith and prayer turns the darkness into Light...and we are blessed above and beyond...to realize that He is working miracles within our own hearts.

esther

What AutismAwareness means to me

April...is AutismAwareness month!

You'll be hearing, reading, and seeing this on tv this month of April. There will be numerous specials hosted on tv, new segments, talk shows, and radio broadcasts. The point is to get the word out..."April is autism awareness month.

But what does that mean, to you? To me it means that there are still people whose lives perhaps have not (yet) been touched by this epidemic we call autism, but if they will take the time and interest to listen, watch, and learn, they will be better informed and more prepared to deal with the uncertain challenges we who have autistic angels, deal with on a daily basis.

To me it is a reminder that I am not alone in this. That there are countless others who share in my struggles, my son's challenges. And I find that so encouraging.

To me it means that there is a whole world full of people out there, just like my son, just like myself and our family who are praying and hoping and fighting to rise above the challenges, to find a way through, to sometimes, just make it one day at a time.

If you know someone who is autistic, or who has an autistic angel, please take a moment out of your busy, hectic day and just say a prayer for them...for us. Remember there is strength in numbers and even more strength...in the power of prayer.

God does know...He is perhaps THE only One who understands and truly knows what we're dealing with...exactly what we're facing, and let me tell you He is not scratching His head in fear and wondering what is going on...He knew about autism before this epidemic came into our world. In that, I find my comfort.

Please remember to comfort one another...to pray for one another...to maybe just offer a word or two of love and support...for someone you know who is dealing with autism. That's what autism awareness means to me. What does it mean to you?

esther

Giving God the glory?!

I shared in here today about the awesome changes we've seen in our son's behaviors at home this past week, and I realized I hadn't one time given the glory to God!

I was just on the phone, sharing with one of the ladies in our church children's ministry how the Lord has been working all along, in ways we couldn't see, and how He has brought every single person into our path in order to open doors and move in our lives. We've been through some unbelievable struggles this past year.

To be honest, there were times when I didn't think I could go another day the way things were. It seemed the harder we tried to get through to our son, the worse the behavior became.

I prayed, I cried, I read The Word, and sometimes it seemed that nothing was going to change...ever. Honestly, I don't know how people do this, without having a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior.

And now I know that every prayer, every tear, every sigh, every heartbreak, was heard and seen by my Father, and that He was moving on our behalf all along. NO, we couldn't SEE what He was doing...how He was invisibly speaking to hearts and moving mountains to answer our prayers, but He was here with us.

I just want to make sure I give Him all the glory. And I love and thank Him so much for never giving up on us...on me. He is still merciful and patient...full of compassion and longsuffering, and even though sometimes it may seem like He allows us to suffer through so much, we have to keep believing, keep holding on, and keep asking Him for the grace to help us through one more day. Because as long as God is in the picture, anything is possible.

esther

AutismAwareness

Myspace Glitter Graphics

Well its been awhile since I've shared in here. Perhaps that's because we've been having such an amazing, awesome time actually enjoying our son! Don't get me wrong, we always enjoy our son, he is a blessing for sure. But up until these past few weeks the challenges have been overwhelming, and sometimes it just leaves me...speechless.

But I honestly believe that the intervention from his school is really working.We are blessed to have a teacher, and teacher's assistant, principal, guidance councilor, and several other school staff who took the initiative to get involved and take a personal interest in our son, our family, and the intense behavior issues we were facing at home.

We have actually gone a full week...with no spitting, no hitting, so screaming or cussing or throwing at home!I think what's key here is that we've found Julian's button. What I mean is that he cares immensely what the staff at school think about him; about his behavior at home.

I myself am amazed and thankful that he has reached this emotional milestone, in that he does care what other people think of him. That he feels ashamed and embarassed when his teachers read our daily report on whether his behavior that night at home was good or not-so-good, is a wonderful way to be able to allow his teachers and other school staff to reinstill in him the importance of how he treats his family.

The fact that he was/is so well behaved at school was a huge clue that he could control his behavior, that it was a choice to behave so badly at home.So now that we're all on the same page, working together as a team, we're beginning to see some positive results!

Someone once told me that because every child is different, whether they are autistic or typical, the key is to find out what will get your child's attention. Because as I'm sure you know, there has to be a consequence for bad behavior, but what works for one child may not work for another.

Our son can't stand the thought of his teachers, who regard him so highly at school, finding out about his bad behavior at home, so now he's learning that we're all working together as a team...almost like what he does to us at home, he in a sense does to his teachers and staff at school, too.

For all you who are struggling with behavior problems at home, I hope and pray that you have support from others...family members, school staff, behavior therapists. For us, once Julian realized that others were aware of his outlandish behaviors at home, he started thinking twice about the consequences, and how this would affect his relationships at school.

esther

We're going to get through this!

Its been at least a week since I've shared in here. Things have been...challenging, to say the least.

Sometimes, just when I think I'm at my wit's end and I don't see that light at the end of the tunnel, we get that break-through.

Sometimes, I'm just so busy "holding on", it takes all the strength and willpower I have to just get through the tough times.

But always...God sends someone our way who offers hope and light and...relief.Its a hard thing, trying to break the bad habits and I've always said be careful what you allow your child to do, because I've learned from experience that especially an autistic child so easily falls into a routine, be it a good or not-so-good one.

My little boy has gotten into the routine of coming home from school every day, behaving in a confrontational, aggressive way. And its gone on for so long now that its going to take alot of hard work, determination, and effort to change that routine, redirect, and teach new, healthy habits.

By giving into his "demands" because to be honest, sometimes we just got tired of the fighting and it was easier to just give in for the sake of peace, that behavior has now become a regimented pattern to him and it can be pretty hard to transition him into something different.

But the good news is that I do know what we're up against, and the Lord has sent us so much moral support. So I know we're going to get through this, because I'm determined to help mold my son into the very best person he can be.

I hope and pray, if any of you out there are going through difficult times with your child(ren), just remember that its never too late to try to break the bad habits and instill new ones. And I'm clinging to the verse, "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Phil. 4:13.

I know I can't do it on my own..in my flesh, but that with His help and guidance, He'll see us through. I hope you know the Lord, and that you allow Him to help you through whatever you or your family might be facing.

esther

Never Stop Believing!

I think if there was one point I could really stress to get across to people, families, parents, anyone going through hard times and challenges, it would be to never stop believing.

When I think back to the first few months, days even, when the doctors and professionals started using the word "autism" in the same sentence with my 2 yr old's name, I'm amazed I even got through it. My heart was devestated.

And maybe its not like that for everybody. Maybe because he was/is my only child, and I remember thinking, "I don't even have experience raising a typical child, muchless handling the supposed challenges of autism!

But...that was 5 years ago. And I did get through it. And my heart didn't break. At least, no more than any parent's heart gets broken in a manner of speaking, at times.

Some things have gotten better, easier. Some things, I suppose, that most people would consider ourtrageous have perhaps become the norm to us. And that's ok too.

But all in all, the good times have far outweighed the bad, not that its been easy because honestly my son has been the biggest challenged I've ever faced in my life. And I've faced...many.

But we've come through many battles, with still many more to face, undoubtedly, and I'm so thankful the Lord has always given me the strength to take it one day at a time...one challenge at a time.

And there is something in me, something so strong that finds the will to go on, regardless how tough things get at times. I have found the determination in my heart and soul that I will continue to take one step at a time, even when it feels like I'm falling flat on my face.

No matter how difficult the storms might get, I hope and pray that you will allow the Lord to be your strength, your comfort, your guide. Because He is a friend who will never leave you nor your precious child, and if you let Him He will refresh your soul when you feel you just can't go on.

Whatever you do, don't settle. Raise the bar. Strive for more. Believe with all your heart, even when things seem too hard. But don't ever stop believing. In God, in yourself, or in your child.

esther

What Kind of Angel?

Sometimes, our prayers are answered in mysterious ways...and often in a totally different way than I would have expected. But they are heard...and answered. My heart is overflowing with thanks, first of all for my awesome, loving Heavenly Father who I know has heard my every cry to Him these past few weeks. And God chose to answer my cries by sending us an angel! No, not in the form of a "heavenly" creature, floating around on beautiful gossimer wings. No, He sent us an angel, in the form of a school teacher. A very special, loving lady who came into our lives this past September when our son began his journey into a public school. As we shared with her the behavioral issues we're having at home with our son, she set up an amazing program wherein we will be working together as a team, to try to instill the same routines and consequences both at school and at home. I don't take for granted how blessed this family is, to have our son in the loving, capable care of a teacher, and her aid, who go far Above and Beyond the call of duty. Sometimes, God sends us gifts, but we fail to acknowledge when its His doing. God does intervene on our behalf. Half the battle is believing.The other half is receiving. esther

What IS Faith?

This has become one of my favorite verses in The Bible...so simple yet so powerful!

So many times when I've gone through some really trying situations, I know the Lord brings this precious verse to my mind...to remind me to have faith even when things don't look so great to me.

Afterall, the verse says..."Now faith is the substance of things HOPED FOR..." the evidence of things NOT SEEN..."

If we see something positive, or good happening, we wouldn't need the faith. But its when we need to believe in something positive...something improving...something better happening..that we need our faith.

You know, if I were to continue to look at my circumstances as they are right now...my son's challenges in this autism epidemic, I don't think I could face another day.

Most of the time I don't come in here and just lay it all on the line...really share how tough things are with him, because what I don't ever want to do is to exploit my child...or to overstep the bounds regarding his privacy.

Yet what I do want to do is to encourage so many others who are going through similiar...or possibly worse...situations and challenges.

I don't have all the answers.

Sometimes its all I can do to get through one day at a time.

We have good days, and not-so-good ones.

Months can go by when all evidence would seem to point to my son becoming almost "typical".

Then the bottom drops out...and we're blindsided.

This is when my faith has to take over. This is when I really understand what this verse is saying. Because I begin to look at the things..."not seen"....such as healing, a peaceful life for my son, reaching goals, winning over autism...and I ask the Lord to teach me how to increase my faith...so that I won't give up.

Faith is so important. The Bible even says that without faith, it is impossible to please Him.

Hebrews 11 is a wonderful chapter to read to start increasing your own faith.

Faith is a wonderful, powerful gift to have. Its amazing how my spirit, attitude, and thoughts become transformed and lifted, when I allow God to speak to me through His Word...and to increase my faith.

I hope and pray your faith will be increased today. May you realize the peace, power and hope that will flood your heart and soul, when you look to the Lord...the Creator of faith itself.

esther

I'm Not Giving Up!

I haven't posted in here in afew days because I simply could not.


Talk about the calm before the storm. Unbelievable.

In one of my posts I talked about the difference in "behavioral issues" and genuine "melt-downs" as it pertains to at least my little boy and his autistic challenges.

Saturday, for the first time in a very long time, we definitely had a genuine "melt-down".

The doctors often refer to these particular rages as "night-terrors", probably due to the fact that Julian used to go into rages upon waking from a deep-sleep nap.

But its been afew years actually, since these have happened.

For those of you who don't struggle with these, you're blessed, and be very thankful.

For those of you who do...God bless you. Because I know personally what its like.

Saturday I felt so helpless. Perhaps you can't imagine what its like to have to try to restrain your little boy because he's so out-of-control, its like he's in another world and isn't quite aware of what he's doing. And pretty much anything you try to do to calm him, just escalates the rage.

Sometimes, all you can do is get him to a safe place....away from furniture, breakables, anything he could grab and throw or break, and try to stay calm yourself.

Good Lord, is that hard to do, stay calm when the child of your womb is thrashing and lashing out in a maniacal rage, and your heart (and mind) are racing with all sorts of "what-ifs" and "how comes" and "why, Lord, why?" Yes, for me at least, because its so near and dear to my heart, its a huge challenge to not break down and cry.

Which I did, Saturday.

I think the hardest thing was that because we hadn't seen these "rages" in such a long time, I let my guard down and believed we had somehow, miraculously overcome those, so when it happened out of the blue, I couldn't believe it.

Eventually he did calm down, and I had my big crying gig, and my son was back to normal (whatever that is), and life went on.

I believe it was caused by a change in his meds. We won't go into that right now, but obviously the Abilify (medication) was working to stop those rages.

Sometimes at night, when he's sleeping...his beautiful face a picture of a cherub, we look at him and think its so hard to imagine this is the same little boy who was in horrific throes of violence and rage earlier. How COULD this be the same little boy? What goes on in that little mind, to cause such outburts? And what can I do to make it all better?!

You know what came to my mind, was a verse in Isaiah, that said...."He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief....for He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities....for the chastisement of our peace was upon Him....and by His stripes we are healed." That is not exactly verbatim, but the words that came to be yesterday.

And I thought, yes, Jesus suffered terrible grief...and rejection...and sorrow.

Who could possibly better understand than Him?

And I just sat there, tears streaming down my face, and I couldn't even say anything. I just told Him, "Lord, I don't even know what to say right now...what to pray...." as I just moaned and wept.

And I knew....felt...sensed...His presence. Knew that He cared that I was hurting....that He felt my sorrow...my fear...my concern for my precious child.

And that was enough.

Without words, He did what no-one was able to do for me.

He comforted me.

esther

Well, it Worked!

You'd probably understand what I'm talking about if you'd read yesterday's post, 'Another Hindsight Moment.' Basically I'd gotten sooo tired of my 7 yr old little boy constantly fighting me when he's not getting his way. Defying us is one thing, but the WAY he was doing it is what drove us nuts. The spitting at us, hitting us, throwing things, and so on.

Anyway, after trying the Time-Out chair, in which he just continued to the above-mentioned, I told him IF he spit at me one more time...I was taking away his radio...for the night. The whole night. (I've taken it from him before but he ALWAYS got it back before bedtime.)

Not this time.

When he spat at me again, I did indeed take the radio.

After he calmed down, he proceeded to try every means possible to cajole me into giving him back the radio.

But, I held my ground and he went off to bed...no radio in tow.

This morning he was like a different child. No kidding.

No fighting, no spitting, no "bad words", no throwing, he actually came out quietly this morning, looked at me with a sweet smile, and said..."Today radio?" "Yes, today radio", I said.

And...miracle of miracles, when he came home from school today, he actually had a good attitude.

So far, so good.

Oh I'm not naive enough to think he's going to be a little angel-boy from now on, lol.

But I do think we're on to something here. (Finally)!

The moral of this story is, that sometimes it takes awhile to find out what works with your kids.

Sometimes you can take all the advice in the world from well-meaning people, but always remember that YOU know your child better than anyone else does. You know what makes him tick, even though you might now always understand him/her.

It does pay to be persistent.

Sometimes, its hard to tell if a particular discipline is really working or not. Especially with autistic children. Because my son has a hard time communicating with us, I do believe it sometimes escalates his behaviors. I know it must be frustrating for him, too.

BUT I also know he's got to learn that you cannot just lash out at people because they don't always give you what you want.

As much as it hurt me to keep that radio from him the entire night (he listens to the static, for white noise), I knew it was a crucial time in teaching him that I do mean what I say.

So for those of you maybe going through something similiar, just hang in there and keep trying to figure out how to get through to your child(ren). You never know when a break-through is just around the corner.

esther

Yesterday, I shared my sadness...but when I started to praise God...

You might have read yesterday's post, about my heart being so of pain and sadness. And I had a hard time shaking that spirit of heaviness off.

Well later in the day I ran to the grocery store for some things, and on the way home, as I was driving and listening to some awesome praise n worship music, I listened to the lyrics in the song, which said..."Praise the Lord, He can work through those who praise Him, praise the Lord, for our God inhabits praise, for the chains that seem to bind us, serve only to remind us that they drop powerless behind us when we praise Him!"

And it hit me!

So I started calling out to Him...thanking Him for all the good things in my life, recalling the many blessings He bestows on us day after day, remembering all the answered prayers, and the way He's surrounded us with friends and prayers and encouragement.

And before I knew it, my spirit lifted and the blues were gone. My heart was literally over-flowing with joy and peace...and gratitude.

I know this, because I've done it so many times. I know that when our hearts are down, if we start to praise Him, to lift up His name, to recount all our blessings and victories, His spirit comes to us and surrounds us, and fills us.

But sometimes, its not easy to do because our "feelings" or emotions are tempted to pull us down, and keep us down.

But I'm so thankful the Lord has given us a way to overcome our trials, a way to change our attitudes and to refocus our minds and hearts on Him, and off our circumstances.

esther

Has your heart ever hurt so much....

Build your own Blingee

Has your heart ever hurt so much that its like an actual physical pain?

That's how mine feels at the moment.

I guess sometimes its hard to stay focused on the positive, when the storms are raging.

It seems like we go through these "phases" with Julian. Like he'll do okay for awhile, then the bottom falls out and his behavior goes through the roof. And its not for like a day or two, its more like a week or two.

And to be honest, its hard for me to keep it together through this. I'm a very emotional person, but I've learned alot about controlling my emotions.

Its just, when the "storms" go on and on and don't let up, my nerves become just raw and squeezed and I feel like I could just lay down and cry forever.

So I think I need to go spend some time in God's Word, and in His presence.

I've learned from past experiences like this, that the only one who can really help me, who can renew my hope and regenerate my strength, is Jesus.

But I also know its not just going to "happen". I know I need to go to a private, quiet place and just lay it all down at His feet. I know I'll be safe and quiet and find peace there.

I do sometimes wonder if there's anyone else in the world out there who's going through this? Or am I really as alone in this as I often feel?...

esther

Pat Yourself on the Back!

Not only do I give a pat on the back to ALL parents, because to be honest I never knew how challenging it would be to parent a child. Any child All children.


But to those of you out there who are raising special-needs children, as I am, I'll tell you what, if you don't give yourselves a great big pat on the back now and then, I sure will!

I try to keep myself built-up, and by that I just mean that I know I make enough mistakes, (I see them mirrored back at me every day through my little boy), and sometimes its hard to feel that I'm making a whole lot of progress.

There's so much we need to teach our child(ren). Sometimes, it seems we're so busy "putting out fires" here that we don't get around to much "teaching". We have a long way to go, to be honest.

See for me, the thing about autistic kids, at least for my little boy, is that he doesn't just naturally learn the typical, day-to-day things that kids would normally just do. We're still working on getting him to brush his teeth, and dressing himself, and potty-training through the night.

We're still teaching him to play with toys properly, and that not ALL objects are toys.

We're still trying to get through to him that we don't scream, spit, throw, and break things when we're mad or upset.

The spitting is a tough one. I'm not even going to get into that one right now.

So every now and then, I have to just stop...and remind myself of all the time, effort, patience, hard work, and love we've put into this.

And instead of being so hard on myself, and harboring feelings of guilt or shame for all the things I haven't even gotten around to teaching my son yet, I have to pull back a bit and just love myself. By that I mean, give myself a break.

I've become quite good at keeping myself pumped up. Mostly, I know to turn to the Bible when I'm feeling especially down-hearted because I can't seem to make much progress in what I know is my job as Julian's mom.

Nevertheless, we get up every day and start anew. Put one foot in front of the other, press forward, and try to keep a healthy, positive attitude.

And pray. Lots of praying and asking God to give us the patience and perserverence we're going to need every day.

So for those of you who sometimes feel its one step up, two steps back, just know that you're not alone. Know that there are thousands of us out there all struggling with unbelievable challenges that no-one could have been prepared for.

Keep on keeping on.

Don't ever give up.

And pat yourself on the back.

You deserve it.

esther

The Fruit of Joy!

I've found that life is an awesome gift, yes, but it can also be full of challenges and many times, unexpected twists and turns. I think we all have good days and, well, perhaps not-so-good days. At least this is true for me.

Its easy to be happy when things are going well in our lives. And there's just something about being around a cheerful, happy person that tends to lift our spirits and maybe even change our attitudes a bit. But when things are not going so great, when we're having some serious struggles in our life, I think the hardest thing to do is to keep from being down in the dumps and getting blue.

I've learned that God's Word talks alot about joy. That's because it really is God's desire that His children "walk in joy", even in the midst of stress and turmoil.For me, its a hard thing to do sometimes.

Honestly, the only thing that really helps bring me back up from the pit of despair and depression, is getting back in God's Word, believing what He said about our joy being found in Him, and making the decision to NOT let my circumstances get the best of my and determine what my attitude will be like today.

Joy is a fruit of the Spirit. That means that when we accepted Christ as our Savior, the seed of joy was actually implanted into our hearts. Now its up to us to water, feed and nurture that seed. Its not going to simply grow and mature on its own. It takes prayer, faith, and time in God's Word and presence to replace all our old, negative thinking with new, joyful thoughts.

It takes practice, especially for those of us who are used to just rolling around in our self-pity and thoughts of fear or dread.But in time, you can learn to recognize when your heart and mind are full of sadness and negative thoughts or attitudes, and with God's help and alot of determination, you can learn to walk in joy. I'm still learning.

esther

Whatever You're Struggling with...

When I started this blog, my intent was to reach out to so many other families who are going through challenges that are sometimes hard to understand, to those who don't deal with autism on a daily basis, in their home, in their families. And I still hope to do that.

My heart's cry is to point all God's children to the cross, because I know in my heart of hearts that every single answer to every single dilemma we will face in this life, lies in God's Word. I know that as sure as I know that God loves me, loves you, and loves every one of us equally.

But I've come to realize that you know what? Every one of us faces one kind of challenge or another. Life isn't always easy, and it certainly isn't often fair. Right now, my biggest challenge just happens to be in dealing with many different aspects of my son's autistic disorder. That's my challenge. What's yours?

Jesus said in John 16:33 ..."These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." I find it so encouraging to know that Jesus Himself, the very Son of God, warns us because He knew that we will all have our own tribulations to face, but that we would be able to "overcome", through Him.

I hope that you find some comfort in His Word today. I hope you realize how much He loves you, your child(ren). I hope and pray that you turn it all over to Him, and allow Him to help you through whatever challenges you might be facing. He is my greatest friend, my greatest companion, my greatest comfort.

esther

Know what? We've come a long way!

No matter what happens from one day to the next, my heart always ends up filled with gratitude to God for all that He's brought us through...together.

Honestly? I can't and won't ever say the journey's been easy. But then, what journey is?
But when I look back to when my little boy was just 2 years old, when we first received the official diagnosis of autism, there were so many more every-day things that we couldn't get him to do.

Like having his hair washed, and he couldn't stand to have his hair cut. I remember I used to have to wait until he was taking a bath, then lather up the shampoo, and when he was busy playing, I'd take the little scissors and cut here and there, quick, before he'd notice.
Wow. Now he loves to go to the barber's, I mean loves it!

There was a time when I couldn't ever take him anywhere new, at all. Daycare, church, any new store, he'd cry and then start screaming and become hysterical.
Now he loves to go just about anywhere. At the very most, he's a little bit nervous to go to new places, but adjusts fairly quickly.

Potty-training took a little over a year, he'd scream and cry when we'd try to get him to even sit on the potty. Now its like old hat to him.

And I remember when he first started talking, I mean really talking.
He was 4 years old, and his school *Eastgate, was so excited because it was like something had just opened up within him, and he hasnt' stopped since! That was one of the happiest days of my life.

Now he's reading, and counting, and singing, and doing so many things that I wasn't sure whether or not he'd ever do.

See? God does hear our prayers.

He may not always answer them in the way or timing we'd like, but He does hear us.

My son is living proof.

Don't ever give up.

esther

Never Never Never ever Give Up!

I just want to share a word of inspiration with you, perhaps you're having a bad day, a bad time, or a bad life. Well I've been in all 3 of those positions, believe me, and I have to admit there have been many times when I have literally thrown my arms up in the air and screamed..."I QUIT"!

But I didn't quit, not really, not totally. The Spirit of God lives within me and He won't let me give up, thank His Name!

I've learned how important, and what a blessing it is to read His Word as much as I can because guess what? When I'm having a "downer" day or even just a "downer" few intense moments at home, usually with my 6 yr old autistic son who can go from normal to over-the-top raging in 3 seconds flat, some of those scriptures I've read and studied come to my mind and give me strength and help and....hope!

No matter how dark the night may seem, no matter how HUGE the challenges you face, God will always be there for you, IF YOU LET HIM! Cry out to Him, claim His promises, cling to His Word, hold on to your faith, and put your every feeling and thought into HIS hands....you'll always be safe in His Haven!
esther

"Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27