Build your own Blingee
Has your heart ever hurt so much that its like an actual physical pain?
That's how mine feels at the moment.
I guess sometimes its hard to stay focused on the positive, when the storms are raging.
It seems like we go through these "phases" with Julian. Like he'll do okay for awhile, then the bottom falls out and his behavior goes through the roof. And its not for like a day or two, its more like a week or two.
And to be honest, its hard for me to keep it together through this. I'm a very emotional person, but I've learned alot about controlling my emotions.
Its just, when the "storms" go on and on and don't let up, my nerves become just raw and squeezed and I feel like I could just lay down and cry forever.
So I think I need to go spend some time in God's Word, and in His presence.
I've learned from past experiences like this, that the only one who can really help me, who can renew my hope and regenerate my strength, is Jesus.
But I also know its not just going to "happen". I know I need to go to a private, quiet place and just lay it all down at His feet. I know I'll be safe and quiet and find peace there.
I do sometimes wonder if there's anyone else in the world out there who's going through this? Or am I really as alone in this as I often feel?...