Friday, February 13, 2009

Has your heart ever hurt so much....

Build your own Blingee

Has your heart ever hurt so much that its like an actual physical pain?

That's how mine feels at the moment.

I guess sometimes its hard to stay focused on the positive, when the storms are raging.

It seems like we go through these "phases" with Julian. Like he'll do okay for awhile, then the bottom falls out and his behavior goes through the roof. And its not for like a day or two, its more like a week or two.

And to be honest, its hard for me to keep it together through this. I'm a very emotional person, but I've learned alot about controlling my emotions.

Its just, when the "storms" go on and on and don't let up, my nerves become just raw and squeezed and I feel like I could just lay down and cry forever.

So I think I need to go spend some time in God's Word, and in His presence.

I've learned from past experiences like this, that the only one who can really help me, who can renew my hope and regenerate my strength, is Jesus.

But I also know its not just going to "happen". I know I need to go to a private, quiet place and just lay it all down at His feet. I know I'll be safe and quiet and find peace there.

I do sometimes wonder if there's anyone else in the world out there who's going through this? Or am I really as alone in this as I often feel?...



Anonymous said...

I love you Esther! God gives us one day at a time and we always make through to the next one...and we always do it together. Happy Valentines day! Love ROG

VoicingAutism said...


Thank you. Thank you for always being the one to pick me back up..when I seem to be falling.

What would I do without YOU?


A little piece of 7th heaven said...

I just wondered over to your blog from another blog and I want to say I am praying for you.
God is good all the time and all the time he is God.
He will help you in your deepest, darkest hour.
I will be praying for you..
You are NOT all alone..there are support groups for you with others who have Autistic Children. Perhaps they can offer more guidance than I can.
All I can say is wrap yourself in the Lord's undying love and he will guide you.
Have a Happy, Happy Valentine's Day:)

VoicingAutism said...


I just think its awesome that you took the time to leave such an encouraging reply here. God bless u sis, even though we may not even know each other, I'm so glad God sent you my way.

Yes, God IS good all the time. Even thru all life's trials and challenges.

I'll never let go of His hand, for He is my greatest hope.

Thank u for your prayers and loving words.

May God bless you and yours!

Denise said...

I will be lifting you way up in my prayers, asking God to come along beside you, and give you comfort .

VoicingAutism said...


wow, That's awesome, precious sister. Thank you so much. I'm reminded of that verse in the Bible that says, "Weep with those that weep, and rejoice with those that rejoice..."

God bless you!

Angela said...

I do sometimes wonder if there's anyone else in the world out there who's going through this? Or am I really as alone in this as I often feel?...

lies from Satan girl!! Your SPIRIT KNOWS that,,,the flesh though can be strong at times can't it? Praise God, greater is He that is in you than this flesh, than Satan, than the circumstances and everything else that try to steal our strength, hope, joy and peace in Christ Jesus.

VoicingAutism said...

Thank you, Ang. I know what you're saying is right, but like you said, satan LOVES to torment us, anything in any way he can try to harm and destroy us.

Hugs to you, girl.

Helpful info about Autism from the National Autism Society